Driving is my opportunity to retreat into my thoughts. There has been a lot of driving this week thus a lot of thoughts. The conclusions remain almost elusive and the questions are hardly definable. I feel as if it is on the tip of my tongue, my hands can almost reach it, my mind struggles to make sense of swirling thoughts.
I have been working on our “schedule” I use that term loosely as I am just trying to build a framework for our days. I have been disheartened by the amount of time that is spent on preparing meals, eating meals, cleaning up from meals, doing laundry, cleaning house … mundane tasks. Then add to that the dentist appointments, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, youth groups. Those are just weekly events (dentist appointments have been frequent as we catch up on neglected dental care). Add in other various things and I am wondering how I am to fit all of this in to our day and still find time to meet with God, to teach my children to meet with God. Then I am chagrined to thing that I am trying to fit God into our schedule. Jesus told Martha that only one thing is needed and that Mary had chosen that one thing and it wouldn’t be taken from her. What did Mary choose? To sit at Jesus feet. Is that what we are doing? Is that our priority?
Then I am feeling that no amount of time is enough. God deserves more than an hour in the morning or an hour at night. I want more than that. The futility of it all keeps me from pursuing Him at all. If I cannot give Him what He deserves, I give nothing at all. At least it seems that way lately.
Oh, but what am I saying? God time isn’t a separate time. God time is all the time. All things were created for His pleasure … am I bringing pleasure to Him in all things. I am told to do all to the glory of God … am I brining glory to God in all the things that I do. Maybe that is the challenge. Seek God’s kingdom first in all that I do.Instead of considering the laundry, the dishes, the meals, the errands as distractions to my time with God … consider them as opportunities to have time with God. God is evident in my world … am I looking for Him … am I honoring Him in all my tasks.
Instead of my time with God being just a item to cross of my to do list, my whole life is to become my time with God. He just keeps taking me deeper, deeper into the relationship with Him. This is what I want though. I don’t want to settle for the status quo. I want more. I want more.
Immersed in the Mystery,
