I’m just a pancake playing chopsticks

December 8, 2006 at 12:02 am (Acknowledging)

Now, isn’t that just an intriguing title?

That is the thought running through my brain today and I cannot take time to explain to you now. Sadly, this well oiled machine managed chaos isn’t running so smoothly right now. There are problems on the logistics side and in the heart attitude. We all need a tune up.

I am going to cut back on my time online for the rest of the year … Hey, it’s only three weeks … and devote some time to restoring order here. I know, I know, I must be nuts to do this during the holiday season. You know, they say to expect life and the schedule to be out of sync during this time of year. Well, I don’t think we have been in a sync to get out of.

I hope that the title of this post will intrigue you and inspire you to bookmark my site or subscribe to my feed so that you can drop back in when I return to hear the story behind it.

Until then … Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

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Uh oh, pass the orange juice!

December 6, 2006 at 11:39 pm (Living)

Several of the children, including the adult child, are down with nasty colds. I think Chris and I are the only ones who haven’t been sick.

Then . . .

Middle of the night, barely dreaming, slightly aware that my 7 yos has crawled into bed with me and just before I can roll over to settle into a more comfortable position . . . .

ACHOO!!!

He let loose a big wet sneeze right in my face.

So I drink the orange juice, focus on making good food choices, walk, practice deep cleansing breathing and pray for the super human Mommi immune system not to fail me now.

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

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Not much to say today

December 5, 2006 at 9:47 pm (Rambling)

Still feeling quite numb, lots of thoughts swirling in my head, but none are settling for long so that I can grab hold and make sense of it all.

Started the morning reading Praise Habit: Finding God In Sunsets And Sushi by David Crowder, soaking in Psalm 1. After a dry season, I am finding my thirst and hunger for God’s word increasing. I spent some time doodling this morning, trying to capture an image from my head.

Several of the children are down with colds, so though this is our work day, a day that we try to super clean the house or work outside and today were going to get the Christmas tree set up, it ended up being a lazy lay around day.

I almost have that sense that I just don’t want to blog … though there are things I want to talk about, my fears were realized this weekend when I think I may have spoken too soon … before I had the words to define my belief system. I mumbled, stumbled, fumbled and then melted into an emotional crying heap. I am not ready to take that risk again … yet. I will be, just not yet.

This week, I had planned to tweak my sidebar again, adding categorized links to the blogs and sites that I frequent. I am not even up to that right now. I did add pictures of me over on the left side bar. Just over six months ago, I had almost waist length hair and then a tragedy struck … LICE! No one else in my family had lice and after treating a couple of times and days of nitpicking I decided the safest thing to do was to cut my hair. I was only going to take it down to a buzz but the guide wouldn’t move through my thick hair. That’s how I ended up bald for the summer. I need to take a current picture. Hair is now about three inches long, wavy and all over my head. I think I am going to dread it … in fact, I was only playing with the idea until last week. Now, I feel like stepping out in a radical way.

I keep saying that I am going to make a true confessions post, go ahead and let it all hang out, reveal all the crazy stuff that I believe. Just haven’t worked up the courage yet. I feel like so many have just written me off already … why do I even care? I say and act like I don’t but obviously I do.

Well, for not much to say, this has turned into too many words.

Later!

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

3 Comments

This explains it

December 4, 2006 at 8:32 pm (Living)

There is so much that I want to do, much that I need to do. At the end of each day, it seems I am lamenting why I didn’t get more done. DHM at the Common Room mentions a New York Times article that explains it well (and read the rest of DHM’s post for the rest of her thoughts)

In 2005, a psychiatrist at King’s College London did a study in which one group was asked to take an IQ test while doing nothing, and a second group to take an IQ test while distracted by e-mails and ringing telephones. The uninterrupted group did better by an average of ten points, which wasn’t much of a surprise. What was a surprise is that the e-mailers also did worse, by an average of six points, than a group in a similar study that had been tested while stoned.

That’s right. Stoned. Those people were literally burned out, and they did better.

“There is something about interruption that makes people especially unproductive,” says Suzanne Bianchi, a sociology professor at the University of Maryland and co-author of the new book Changing Rhythms of American Family Life. “And technology interrupts us all the time—e-mails, cell phones. It feeds into our sense of control”—another key factor in burning out, feeling a lack of control—“and highly educated workers all will talk as if they’re terribly overworked, how they feel as if there’s never enough time. Partly, we’re supposed to say it, but I think people also genuinely feel that way, even though they have the time. That’s what’s intrigued us. The subjective and the objeupctive don’t line up.”

The interruptions throughout my day are overwhelming. I had noticed my struggles with reading because I would read, get interrupted and then couldn’t remember anything I had just read, having to back up several pages to refresh my memory. I think this is happening in most aspects of my life right now.

Ok, so if this is the diagnosis, what is the treatment? the cure? Short of getting rid of some of these people, I don’t see one. Maybe just recognizing that the problem doesn’t lie with me is enough.

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

2 Comments

Been home for awhile

December 3, 2006 at 9:48 pm (Hurting)

where have I been?

here

feeling very discouraged tonight, exhausted and a bit lost.

There is so much more that I need to say but cannot tonight. I am just too tired. Please note, and I say this because I never, never want to cause discouragement to the people at my church, this is not about an individual person or the community as a group. To say more would just cause confusion right now. I need to sleep and gather my words.

Love to all.

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

3 Comments

Just got home …

December 2, 2006 at 11:40 pm (Celebrating)

Where have I been?

Here!

Most encouraging, MOST encouraging!

Too late tonight to elaborate. Talk to ya’ll tomorrow … and yes I said ya’ll, didn’t you read my left side bar? I AM a southern woman. Have had to resist the T-shirt that says Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress. Check out the acronym … SLUTS!

LOLOLOL!

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

2 Comments

Friday Felicitations

December 1, 2006 at 11:24 pm (Encouraging)

Last week, Megan gave us a challenge to accept and embrace the compliments that are gifted to us, to believe in ourselves and exchange our negative thoughts about ourselves with positive expectations. I am so pleased that she took a little idea I had to go further with that challenge and ran with it … giving us Friday Felicitations.

It’s time to help each other throw out all that negative thinking and acknowledge those things we have to celebrate. Friday is now the day to blog your compliments, your accomplishments, something nice someone said to you, or maybe even something you are striving to make better. Go ahead, announce yourself to be happy and fortunate.

So without further delay, here are my Friday Felicitations:

1. I have created several art pieces this week that I really like. Tammy has commented on my favorite one, Sunset Window, and complimented my blending. It was the first time I had spent time actually blending the oil pastels. I didn’t have a blending stump, my fingers were rubbing raw, so I used Q-tips. I was very pleased with the results.

2. I went to a jewelry party last night and to be honest, felt a little out of place. I am not much in the bling for the bling’s sake. I want my adornments to have meaning, thus my favorite dragonfly earrings. I did win the on-time prize drawing and picked a beautiful, black lacy scarf to tie around my head and one of the ladies said, “Oh that is you! You can absolutely wear the scarf.”

3. I had a nice visit with my mom today while taking her for a annual check up. We chatted about Christmas and have wonderful plans to have a great time. This is a VAST improvement over last year, for the both of us. I don’t even remember last Christmas. I am so excited about this season and loving the Christmas music even, that I may have to erase scrooge from my list of “who am I?”

4. I made the best lasagna EVER for my two daughters who share a birth-date. Everyone said it ws the best I had ever made.

5. I added some elements to my blog this week, an intro/explanation on the left side bar and some favorite quotes on the right side bar. I have been trying to get that done for months. So glad it is done.

Now on to my favorite part of Friday Felicitations … giving a shout out to others.

1. My friend is back sharing her journey in the emerging conversation. Again, one of those odd coincidences that we share. I was going to her blog today to comment and fuss at her for not posting more often and Ta Da! She had posted today.

2. A new friend who said mine was her new favorite blog to read can be found at My True Self. I just want to honor Jennifer for sharing her incredible story of sexual abuse and healing. Protect that voice so that you can continue to impact others life with the truth of your own.

3. Melba will be starting something new and fun at the New Year. I have loved her Mixed Media Memoirs and look forward to the challenges and fun activities she has in mind for all creators.

4. Tammy has my favorite blog about the living a lifestyle of learning. She gives practical, encouraging and challenging advice. I have to respect anyone who recognizes the depth of Supertramp’s lyrics.

5. Of course, since she launched her new business blog this week, I must give highest kudos to Megan.

Now go forth! Freely receive the gifts of belief this week, look for ways to pay it forward and join us next week for Friday Felicitations.

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

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Dragonflies

December 1, 2006 at 9:45 pm (Creating)

Started this last night and finished tonight. I am enamored with dragonflies and have begun to see them everywhere. Maybe they have always been there or maybe my awareness is heightened. Regardless, I can’t help feeling that there is some sort of deeper reason for my interest. I have been trying to find information about dragonflies in myths or legends or any mystical power associated with them. If you have any information, send it on my way.

Immersed in the Mystery,
Cynthia

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