It happened again yesterday. The question, the only question it seems, that Christians ask other Christians that they haven’t seen in awhile (translated: haven’t seen in their church building in awhile)
So, where are you going now? (translated: what building are you going to now? I am asking because this is the only way I know to gauge your spiritual life as a Christian and I just don’t know what else to ask you about your life)
Nothing else seems to matter. No questions about my children, my grandchildren, my husband, our home, my mom. Those are just surface knowledge. If someone knew me even beyond five minute conversations, they would know about my art, my passion for authentic learning and for women, for life altering grace. Yet, even those that may have taken the time to know all that usually default to that one question first.
Initially, I answered honestly.
“We’re not. We’re not going anywhere”
When I detected the alarm in her eyes, I started reaching for excuses and explanations.
“Well, we do attend ________ sometimes because they have an evening service and since Chris works on Sundays . . . “
“But, the teenagers are stil coming here so sometimes I will be here . . . “
I am frustrated by my relenting to the single question examination, relenting to the point of stretching the reality of my life to fit into some answer she may find acceptable.
Thinking about it while driving kids to camp (in near 100 degree temperature, in my big van with no air condition), I realized that the true answer isn’t that we go nowhere but that we go everywhere!
We go downtown spending hours talking to other seekers about life and God and faith.
We go to Barnes and Noble and continue those conversations, finding ways to understand and love each other.
We go to a retirement home to deliver food and more importantly, checking in on old friends.
We go to a building and shovel insulation and ceiling material, making a place available for children and believers to meet.
We go to movies with our children, enjoying the chatter that lasts for hours afterward.
We go to my mother’s and direct the remodeling of her home because she can’t and we want her life to be stress-free.
We go to Scouts and Co-op, teaching others what we love.
We go to help friends sew dolls to honor the memory of another’s mother, grandmother, to help ease the grief of her husband.
We go to the museum, to the park, to the library finding God in art, in nature, in literature.
We go to concerts, near and far, nurturing our love of music and finding God again.
We go to art tables and to bird sanctuaries, honoring the passion that we have inside.
The point is that we are never not going. Even at times, for various reasons, we may go to a church. But those isolated occasions don’t define us spiritually, those aren’t the culmination of our walk with God.
We are seeking a more holistic journey that doesn’t compartmentalize our spiritual experiences. One that becomes aware of God in each conversation, in each experience, in each opportunity to share the burden of another.
So what about you … where are you going now?
A. Amos Love said,
June 20, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Cynthia – Good stuff.
“We are seeking a more holistic journey that doesn’t compartmentalize our spiritual experiences. One that becomes aware of God in each conversation, in each experience, in each opportunity to share the burden of another.”
Amen…
“We go to Barnes and Noble and continue those conversations, finding ways to understand and love each other.”
Funny I just happen to be in a “Barnes and Noble” as I read your blog.
This store has free wi fi. Isn’t God good. I can sit here for hours.
I can no longer “go to” a 501c3, non profit, tax deductible,
religious corporation church. ie. “Go To Church.”
Funny thing, when i left, I found out that I was the church
and I believe Jesus wants “His Church to Go.”
I had it backwards for so long.
Just love “Barnes and Nobles.” They have this sitting area. A square coffee table
surrounded with four big soft fluffy chairs. And best of all there are people in the chairs. And no one escapes a broken heart. Lots of folks looking for peace.
I’ve had an opportunity to minister to a pastor (25 yrs) whose tired, nothings working, tired of people coming and going. He knows the other big name pastors in the area and they are having all kinds of problems, addictions, affairs, hyping the meetings. Don’t know where this is going but I keep running into him and he keeps on talking. He knows where I stand. I tell him, “Titles are idols”and “Pastors
are Masters.” God, you really love me.
Also met a retired Catholic priest who is having health problems. As we talked about God, the Bible, healing in the Scriptures, a Jewish lady that i have been speaking with for a couple of weeks was listening. As the lady and I left and going down the escalator, she said to me; That priest, he doesn’t believe does he?
It’s just amazing what happens when you go into all the world.
In His service. By His Grace.
David Gladson said,
June 20, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I hate getting that question, too…. especially when they ask it while I am doing my chaplain rounds. The job requires that I answer in the affirmative – even though my sense of church is now much bigger than can be contained in a building or an address.
I like your answer: everywhere.
But maybe if I am mischevious… “So where do you go, preacher?” “Why, anywhere there is a bathroom or a tree, actually….”
Cynthia said,
June 20, 2009 at 8:01 pm
David … love the mischievous answer!
Jean said,
June 20, 2009 at 11:20 pm
God is too big to find only in one building. I love your post and I love all the commenters before me.
erin said,
June 21, 2009 at 1:37 am
Ha! I love it! I tend to be of the belief that I don’t “go” to church, church “goes” with me, anywhere I go.
Jimazing said,
June 21, 2009 at 11:49 am
Cynthia – I followed David’s link from Facebook to your post. Nicely put. Seems like 21st century xianity has traded loving God and loving our neighbor for attending an event. Pretty poor trade, I think.
I want to be sensitive to the person who asks the question with a genuine spirit; the one who truly cares about me. For that person, I want to give a real answer that gets below the surface of the shallow question. Whether I go to “the event” somewhere or not, there’s a lot to converse about. Who knows what kind of community might grow from such a conversation…
David Gladson said,
June 21, 2009 at 7:28 pm
You know, it’s interesting. I struggled with that question this morning. I really wanted to go with God’s emergent church at Barnes and Noble this morning… but I also long to find a community of faith near my home in Pendleton – especially among the black churches in the area. I was glad I went to the black baptist church this morning but it still felt so far from anything like the authentic community I feel with upstate emergence… I don’t know what to say or do.
Cynthia said,
June 22, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Jim,
I agree about being sensitive to those who are asking with a genuine spirit. In fact, in this posting on my facebook, I have been in a tough conversation with an acquaintance. It’s not her claim to be asking honestly but that she has used shaming language toward me. Honestly, I am just trying to confront two things: 1) that as a culture … not just churched culture … we don’t know how to have a conversation. We live in an age of instant information and soundbites and usually are too busy to listen and respond. 2) the answer is not not always simple and satisfying.
David,
I have come to accept that upstate emergence is my community It is growing and being nurtured online and in person. I want to take the effort to invest in these relationships. That doesn’t mean that I won’t attend church services in various places but the people that will share the burden of life with are in UE. BTW, I hope you can join us this coming Sunday, my friend Kimber is going be there. I really want here to meet some of you.