“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
I’ve spent years living the questions in accordance to Rainer Marie Rilke’s wise words:
have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
In the sense that I have learned to accept the mysteries of life, the unexplainable and that I have learned to follow my questions into greater and lesser understanding, I will continue to let the questions thrive.
This year is different however. This year, I sense a shift not only in my perspective but also in the energy that is flowing around me.
This is a year of answers.
After quite a few years of wandering from place to place, pitching my tent just long enough to explore and discover another path, I feel like I am settling down. I am ready to plant myself and let my roots dip deep into the ground. I am ready for that foundation.
I am sure of so many things right now. The answers are here and I am beginning to live them. I have to tell you that living the answers just may be more difficult than living the questions. It is requiring strength of mind, heart and soul. Commitment, sacrifice, order are all concepts that are coming into play now.
Honestly, these haven’t been as evident in my life for a while. Those who only know me from a distance would not realize just how chaotic I have let my life become. I can still put in a good appearance but that foundation of order has not been there.
I have been adrift. I frequently describe myself as feeling unsettled. It has been years of wanderings.
But this year it is changing.
I have found the place where I am going to stay. It is time to build that structure and framework of order upon which my beautiful life can be built. There is no magic, no fairy godmother or house elves. I have to do the work that is required to change my life, to move my life forward, to live the answers that burning in my heart.
I am ready.
For this is a year of answers and I hope that it is the first of many such years.
