It’s been a day with my emotions on the edge. Pulling me through the day and pushing me into confronting myself three times. My friend would call that the trifecta … you know, when something related happens three times, it’s a sign.
My children and I spent the day in my beautiful hometown at the art festival, Artisphere. The weather was ideal, comfortable and just a light breeze, sky blue as it could ever be. We had walked through several booths when I found an artist friend, Judy Z Verhoeven and I couldn’t resist buying a print from her for my new bedroom and yes, it has turquoise for me and birds for my husband, a perfect combination.
Then as we came to the end of artist row I heard them. The drums and they were calling to me. I’ve attended the drumming sessions a few times downtown. I love being near the pounding rhythm, the energy, the joy. Today, I watched as several women danced, celebrating themselves. I have never felt so much like just an onlooker, observing what my life may never be. Could I ever be that bold? That free? That comfortable with my own body? The ache began and followed me the rest of the day.
Later as we walked back through artist row, I discovered a new artist, Victoria Sexton, and the first thing I saw was a piece called, “in a cage of her own making”, a clay sculpture of a woman in a cage. Sounds familiar. The rest of her work drew me in and I felt myself reacting deep in my heart. This message of what it means to be a woman and paying the price of being a woman expressed so perfectly in this piece, Motherhood:
I wanted to tell her how much I loved her work but didn’t. I just didn’t trust myself to put it into words.
Later on and we were getting tired and I let some teenage angst get to me. While taking a walk to refocus I found yet another artist, Angelique Brickner. Each piece of described to me the emotional phases of my life in recent years.Here’s just one from her “on the edge” series:
What does it all mean? What am I trying to say? What is the universe trying to say to me?
I am not really sure. I just know that tonight, I go to bed still with that ache in my heart. Would love to hear any insight from my readers. Let’s talk about it. Maybe together we can make steps forward on our own path.
