Writing is an act of courage. That is the statement that caught my attention during my blog ramblings this morning while I was composing a post in my mind.
But as I actually sit down to write that post, I am blocked. No words will release from the fences in my brain. What is the opposite of courage? Is it fear? Is it dis-couragement? I guess it is cowardice. Whatever it is has camped out in my heart and is holding my thoughts captive.
I do fear being misunderstood. I fear not communicating clearly. I fear not having it all figured out. Courage must rise up and enable me to write regardless of the fears.
Today I listened to Pray as you Go and the scripture and meditation was from Matthew 5 :13 – 16
13“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
As I began to think about what I do in my day to day life and ponder whether I am being a light to my little piece of the world, I have to include my little piece of the cyber world. In the 15 months, my corner has received over 12, 000 visits. Wow. It stuns me. On an average, 40 people visit here daily and another 40 are reading through feed burners. My purpose in stating the stats is not to brag but to paint the background for my question.
What light am I shining here? If you visit here, do you know that I love Jesus? Can you tell that my greatest desire is to love Him, to become more like Him, to grow in compassion and servant hood? Do I illuminate the source of my strength and inspiration? I hope so.
I know that my struggles and questions about church have been revealed. But those aren’t about God … in fact, if anything, those are about breaking free of what has kept me from God, from living my life completely in His light. I write about my emerging creativity, my journey toward finding myself as an artist. It is the Spirit of God that has led me here, to this place of knowing who I was created to be.
There was a time that my spiritual life was only a part of who I was. A line dividing the sacred and non sacred was prominent. I have learned that all of my life is spiritual, it is all sacred. God is sharpening my focus to understand clearly that my life is to be about worshipping Him, bringing glory to Him. As a wife, as a mother, as a friend, as an artist. In all that I do, do all for His glory. That includes my writing here.
In many ways, I have been fighting to emerge, ready to take flight and soar. Just this weekend, God has revealed to me that it’s not time. Very clearly, He wrapped a cocoon around me, around me and my husband together. There is a metamorphous that needs to take place. Changes, redefining, maturing. When I want to be busy doing, God seems to be concerned with becoming. When my desire is to produce good works, there is transformation that is not complete yet. Where I was struggling alone, separate from the one joined with me, God has brought us back together, to be completed in unity.
Excitement and anticipation fills my heart. What are His plans for us? I pray for the patience to wait on Him, to renew my strength, to not step ahead of His timing.
Hmm, a bit of a rambling post this morning but inspired by Him nonetheless.
Immersed in the Mystery,
by David Crowder, soaking in Psalm 1. After a dry season, I am finding my thirst and hunger for God’s word increasing. I spent some time doodling this morning, trying to capture an image from my head.
