Discouragement comes in the strangest of places. It came at me today … from the pantry.
Just the day before yesterday, I started working on my schedule, finally. I need to carve out the time that I am devoting to my online classes, to my art, to reading. As I listed out the things I wanted to make sure I get to each week on one side of the paper, I listed responsibilities to my family on the other side. And I began to feel guilty.
I sat with Chris, my biggest supporter, as he told me … again … that i am not spending an inordinate amount of time on myself and my interests, that I am not neglecting my children for my own selfish ambition.
Today was a good day. I have felt balanced all day, I got work done on two classes, painted, spent time with the kids reading to them and playing games. Then I went to make dinner and discovered that we have pantry moths.
It’s really not that big of a deal; it’s a common problem. But the voices are screaming in my head.
“well, if you actually made dinner more often you would have caught this earlier”
“well, if you actually cleaned out the pantry once and a while, you would have caught this earlier.”
No, no, no I thought. this happens to everyone. Then I went online to look up some information about how to get rid of these little pests and the very first site, in the very first paragraph said, “the best line of defense is good housekeeping”
“SEE I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!”
:::: sigh ::::
So, now I am in a battle. again. with myself.
I know that it’s ok for me to do art and to take classes and to even spend time blogging. It actually makes me a better Mom, I think. But dang it, those voices can get loud and irritating.
What do you do when the guilt pounds at the door? How do you reset the thought process?
