“I am so scared that I am wandering away from God, that this path will lead me away from Him.” I voiced my fear to a friend almost exactly one year ago.
I was deep in doubts, in questioning, in searching for truth and peace. The journey was taking me to places that I had been warned against, to which strong declarations of heresy had been attached. After being a Christian since a young child, I had come to a place where I didn’t know who I was believing in any longer. I was struggling to find God again but I had lost my trust in myself and in Him.
She comforted me with words of the assurance of God’s Love. She told me, “He loves you. He is the Great Shepherd who searches for one lost sheep. You can’t just wander away from Him. His love is too great to allow that to happen.”
She was right.
There were dark moments and it is a wilderness that I would not have chosen. Did it lead me right back to the heart of the Father or was He there the entire time, just making sure I would find my way back. I don’t know. I just know that He loves me too much to let me be lost from Him forever.
I am thankful for my wandering journey though it did not answer all my questions. If anything, it has probably created more questions. But I did learn to find contentment in this place of not knowing. In fact, it is quite more than contentment I think. I am enjoying this process of discovering my faith again.
~~Grace and Peace~~
