Ten thirty, Christmas eve . . . the day is almost over. We have had our dinner and opened our presents and I feel empty and let down. It was a strange Christmas really. I felt sort of detached from it all. I spent money that I knew we would receive from my step mom on presents for the children. It was important to me that they get a few things. I bought the traditional pajamas and books for everyone. I threw in some warm, special socks for each person to match their pajamas. I also used this opportunity to stock them each up on everyday socks. A stocking cap and gloves rounded out the presents pretty much. We did have a family box with games and Lego table for the younger ones. I think they are happy. They are truly grateful children. I made sure to buy the same things for Chris and I as well . . . it would make the children sad if we didn’t have gifts under the tree. So, no surprises for me really. What is it in me that thinks that maybe this will be the year that I will be swept off my feet? That expectation follows me from year to year when I know in reality I don’t have a sweep-you-off-your-feet husband. Not complaining . . . just stating facts. I have a wonderful husband who is faithful and true. He loves the Lord. I know that he loves me with all of his heart and shows it to the best of his ability. He would give me anything that I ask for. I guess, I just keep wishing for the big surprise . . . I couldn’t even tell you what the surprise would be . . . but the something that tells me that he knows my heart. Too romantic, I think. Like most men, he is logical and practical. He bought a family size griddle the other day. It is HUGE!!! Just what we need to make our mega batches of pancakes. He walked in saying, “This is not a Christmas present. This is not a Christmas present. This is not a Christmas present.” I just have to laugh. He didn’t want me to think he would be so cold as to buy me a griddle for Christmas. Of course, as I am typing all of this, he just came in and said, “Your hair is so pretty in the Christmas lights.” Yeah, I just gotta love him.
Granted we are all fighting colds here . . . He is pretty sick today. Feeling miserable, I know. He has been up since 4:30 as he has an early shift at work today. But still he put together that Lego table for the children today. I am sick too but reluctant to take any cold medicine. It makes my heart jump and turn cartwheels in my chest. The nighttime stuff just revs me up! No, I think I will be safer just dealing with my cold symptoms. I gave that quick health report just to state that there will be no romantic long talks after the children go to bed tonight. We will both be too tired. I am sorry for that. It would be nice to sit in the twilight of the Christmas tree lights and sip some Biltmore Holiday wine and hold hands and dream a little wonderland dream. Well, there is always next year.
Immersed in the Mystery,
